look out, Akatsuki! We're coming for ya!
by OhMyJashin2000
Summary: What happens when 6 fans wake up next to an Akatsuki member? THIS! What happens when the criminals fall for these weirdos? THIS! What happens when I feel like writing about the Akatsuki? THIS! OC pairings for Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, and Tobi! No PeinxKonan. Sorry if that's a disappointment. Sorry Kakazu and Zetsu. You're on your own!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:A whole lot of screaming

**Me:Hi there. This is another story I'm making. However, even though this isn't my first story, I humbly ask of you not to flame it. My heart just can't take it!*faints, then gets up 37 seconds later*Sorry about that. Heh heh heh. On with the story of the Akatsuki and their six fans!**

(Raven's POV)

I woke up, as usual and stretched my back, as usual. I heard someone groan next to me, as usu-'Back the hell up!'I yelled in my head.'I _know_ I didn't get lucky last night.' The stranger came up from under the covers with a groggy expression. He looked exactly like Deidara. Blonde hair with some of it in a ponytail, blue eyes, or _eye_ since the left one was covered by his bangs and mouths on his hands."Say Danna-chan? What time is it, yeah?"he asked drowsy like. I didn't care if this was a sick prank from Leader-san or not, I screamed. He screamed an even more feminine scream after that. Then I did it again. Then he did. Then me. Deidara. Me. Deidara. Me. Until we both screamed,"WHO THE F*** ARE YOU?!"

(Willow's POV)

I woke up to people screaming. In order to shut them up I yelled,"For God's sake, if you're going to kill those bitches, the least you can do is shut them up so that the rest of us can SLEEP!"In case you're wondering, _yes _it happens a lot in my neighborhood.

I opened my eyes to see, one of my many roommates, Raven and...Deidara.'Leader _must_ be trying to prank us with these really similar Akatsuki impersonators', I thought while remembering how Leader enjoys messing with us using her sick and twisted thoughts. She's worse than Lucy.

"You're not the only one who's trying to sleep with all this noise",said a very bored voice. I turned around to see red hair and bored chocolate brown eyes, knowing it was none other than Sasori of the red sand."Who are you and what are you doing in our room?"he asked me. I answered truthfully,"I, honest to God, don't know how we got here." I hopped out of the bed, walked over to the other bed right across from it and smacked Raven's head."The hell was that for?"she asked me. I shrugged,"Why not? You woke me up."

"Alright, I'll give you that one. Where are the others?"

"Hell. I don't remember coming here, let alone our friends location."

"Great!"She said sarcastically. Suddenly, we were being dragged by Sasori out of the room."Where are you taking us?"asked Raven. The red head looked annoyed when he answered,"To Pein. So he can decide when we get to kill you.""Oh CRAP!"we screamed into Deidara's ear. "Ow! What was that for, un?"he asked while rubbing his ear."You woke me up", I stated."And I just felt like it", added Raven, who almost got slapped by the blonde but dodged. I sighed and started screaming when Deidara got out some clay and threatened to use it against us."Calm down, brat. We have to tell Pein about them first,then kill them."

Deidara crossed his arms and pouted. Raven giggled, but stopped when he glared daggers at her. She always thought Deidara was cute, but she surprised me when she didn't glomp him."Whatever, puppet boy", he snorted."Puppet?"I asked, even though I already knew since I watched Naruto over and over again. Sasori sighed and slightly lifted up his shirt. I blushed a small bit. Raven wasn't interested(Like I said. She likes Deidara). I poked his gut and said,"If you're trying to say you're _made _of wood, then I wouldn't believe you. Because this*points to stomach*is flesh."He looked down and had a slightly shocked face. Deidara came to see it and said,"Holy crap, un! She's right."

Come to think of it, both of them looked to be somewhere in their early twenties. 'Huh', I thought.'If we're here, I wonder if everyone else is too. And if that's true, how are Misty and Candy holding up?'

(Misty's POV)

I heard screaming down the hallway and assumed my friends were up. I would've gotten up too, if I didn't wanna sleep in. I turned to face the opposite way. When I did, I saw a person with blue skin and gill like thingies under their eyes. I blushed from how close he was to me and I jumped out of the bed screaming. This woke him up and Candy fell from the bed opposite of us."Damn it!"she said in an innocent voice.

"I so didn't bring you home last night!"the person who I woke up with shouted."Kisame", a fourth voice groaned."Please get your girlfriends out of here before Pein sees them and kills them". Candy yelped and clung to me. That person had black hair and eyes."I would if I knew who they were _and _if I did bring them home, Itachi", said my favorite shark. I mean Kisame.

Itachi rubbed his temples and turned to look at us. His onyx eyes digging into my soul. He looked at Candy and she backed away with her head down. His eyes slightly widened. All this did was make tears fall from Candy's eyes."Way to go, douche, you scared her", I scowled at him before bringing the poor shy girl into a warm embrace."Douche?"the Uchiha said, obviously not caring.

It's funny really. Candy is like Naruto and Hinata's kid. After all, she had straight hair as brown as Neji's that reached her mid back, bright blue eyes and a tan to die for. But her self esteem is kinda low, she's very shy but still as sweet as her name, her body is curvy with a big bust, and I'm getting off track. Her pajamas was a simple but cute pink nightgown with house slippers.

I was the opposite of her. My skin is pale, kinda. My hair's auburn and wavy and is shoulder length, my eyes are a deep sea green. I have birthing hips at least. I'm not too shy, in fact, my ego is HUGE! Just kidding. I'm the"cool" one of the group.I wore a white tank top with black shorts.

We all heard someone screaming,"No, don't do it!" Itachi sighed and opened the door. Outside in the hallway, clay birds were flying around and Willow and Raven were pinned to the ground by Sasori and Deidara. When Candy saw them, she broke out of her shy state and cried in glee,"Raven!Willow! You're ok!"She then snatched the two out of the Akatsuki members grasp in the blink of an eye.

Like her name, Raven has pitch black hair with blue-violet eyes. She even had her hair styled to look and feel like bird feathers. Her shirt had slash cuts in the back and her pants were grey short shorts.

She's the squealing fan girl/lollie shota type since she's shorter than the rest of us(5'0). Next is Candy(5'2), then Willow(5'3). Lucy and I are tied in second place with 5'7, and the tallest of us is Leader at 5'10. Leader has a name. We're just gonna give you a chance to guess what it is.

"Hey, guys. I'm glad to see you're still alive too", said Willow. Her hair is the longest out of all of us, and a bright"kill me"orange color, and the curve of each bit make them look like traffic cones. Her eyes are a rich and hard brown, letting you know she was the strong and "silent" type. Like always her pajama bottoms were red plaid with a yellow t-shirt.

I was all of a sudden picked up by Kisame."Wait. What's happening?"I asked him."We're taking you all to boss", he replied. My face slightly reddened and I asked,"But why are you carrying me there? I have legs that work."

"Well, I felt like picking you up."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"I'm an S-ranked criminal. I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"Uh... Kisame, un?"asked Deidara."Pein? Remember? We're bringing them to him so we can kill them?"The shark lookalike blinked and carried me while grumbling something among the lines of"bitch".

Itachi tried to pick up Candy, but failed when she screamed and head butted him. He remained emotionless."S-Sorry", she said before she bowed and hit her head on her knee. Everyone but Itachi and Sasori cringed."I would prefer walking", she said quietly.

We were walking around the maze like base when Raven said,"I wonder if Lu-Chan and Leader senpai are okay?""Don't worry", I assured her."As strong as you people are, it will take a lot to kill Leader. And knowing Lucy, we would hear her scream,"Damn you, heathen. One day, Jashin will cast your judgment, determining an after life of peace, or an eternity in HELL!" We laughed while the four guys looked confused."You're stuck with a Jashinist, too?"they said."YES!"we laughed.

(Lucy's POV) (5 minutes ago)

My heathen friends were screaming. Why? Well I was hoping that Jashin judgement day was today. But I knew better. I was in my room with burned out candles from my daily prayers, Satan symbol made of blood on the floor. Body parts in the freezer/closet.'Yep. My room.'I thought while getting out of bed and heading downstairs for coffee. I was so busy planning my morning, I didn't even know that there was another person in that room, and that it wasn't my room.

(Candy's POV) (present time)

After threatening to kill us many times, we and the Akatsuki members reached the center of the Akatsuki base. It looked like a living room/kitchen. There was even a couch. red head with several piercings and purple eyes that reminded me of echoes was standing next to the coffee machine, awaiting his morning brew like Lucy and Leader would. That was Pein. The weird thing is, he looked as old as us. Come to think of it, they ALL did.

"Yo Pein!"Kisame greeted while carrying Misty over his shoulder. The ginger turned his head to us with a serious look." Please tell me these girls are the cause of this problem?"he demanded while pointing to his twenty-three year old self."We don't know that they're the reason we're suddenly younger",confirmed Itachi,"All we know is they were in our rooms when we found them."Pein looked unfazed. He turned his attention to me and my friends."Who are you, what village are you from and how did you get in here?"he asked in a tone that said"Answer me or I'll kill you."I gulped and was about to say something,but I suddenly lost my voice.

Willow knew this and answered for me,"I'm Willow and these are my roommates, Raven, Misty, and Candy. We have never set foot in any village around here. We don't know how we got here. All I remember is going to bed in our home. The next thing I knew, I was screaming at Raven and your blonde friend to shut the f*** up."

Just then, someone came into the room with sleep still in her eyes. That someone was Lucy. She's an albino, so her hair was spikey and white with dark magenta ends. Her bangs are always roughly brushed to the right and she has her hair put up like Anko's hair, except she leaves out two bits of hair as thick as the strap of a tank top to droop on her shoulders. Today, she had on a white shirt and red shorts.

Her neon pink eyes barely took in the scene."Morning, heathens,"Ahh, Lucy's favorite insult. She grabbed a cup out of the cabinet and poured coffee from the coffee machine. This pissed off Pein. She took a few sips before I was able to get out clearly,"Lucy. This isn't our house." She put the half empty cup down and glared at us."You decided to wait until _now _to tell me this?"

I shrugged,"I assumed you knew."

"Not really. The room I woke up in is very similar to my own."

"Wait. Where did you wake up, un?"asked Deidara. Lucy's reply was,"A room with burned out candles, the sign of Jashin on the floor and a closet renovated to be a freezer for the sacrifices made to Jashin himself."

"What up, heathens?"asked a new voice. Hidan came in and saw us five girls and whistled,"Why the f*** didn't you f***ing heathens tell me you were bringing me some fine ass heathens to sacrifice to Jashin?"I was annoyed by this, but I shook it off and said,"Uh…Lucy isn't a heathen. She believes in Jashin.""Really?"he turned to see her and she showed him her prayer beads."Where the hell is Leader?"she asked us.

"We don't know. We were hoping you had seen her",responded Raven."Ok. Who is this leader you keep talking about?"asked an uncaring Sasori. It was Misty's turn to speak."She's our roommate/landlord/… leader. Basically, she's in charge of our group of misfits.""That bitch rules over us with an iron fist", Lucy reluctantly added."My real question is if she is here, why isn't she up yet?"asked Willow."Because she sleeps heavily. Like a bear during hibernation", Lucy answered.

I sighed,"Well we'll be fine as long as she has her-"

Kakazu interrupted me by coming in, looking at us and saying,"If you want to keep them, the answer is no. Now who's is this?"He held up a grey jacket with a few stitches on it and a thumb hole cut out on both sleeves."Oh… F***."It was Leader's favorite jacket. The one she didn't let anyone touch."L-Lucy?"I stammered."On it*grabs beads and kneels*Oh great Jashin. I ask of you to spare us of Leader's wrath. If that is too much to ask of you, then at least let me live so that I can offer you these heathen corpses.""LUCY!"we all yelled.

Just then, we heard someone yawn in the room right above us."Ahh…Good morning world and-WHAT THE F***?!"Leader screamed as we heard a loud thump. She probably fell off the bed. "Who are you?"she asked. No reply."Um...Hello? Are you ok?"Nothing."That's odd", Sasori stated."Why?"I asked."The room right above us is Tobi's room. I would expect him to be everything but quiet."'Tobi? Quiet? Hmmm…' I thought right before the ceiling came crashing down on us. I was pulled away by Itachi! I yelped and stomped on his foot until he let go of me.

When all the rubble cleared, a figure was in the center. Leader. I recognized her as soon as I saw her. Leader's hair is a caramel blonde and possibly the frizziest set of hair in the world. Her grey, not light blue, eyes were pissed and confused. Her pajamas consisted of black baggy shorts and a grey tank top.

Kakazu saw the mess and fainted. Greedy bastard."Where is my hoodie?"she asked. God, her voice is in between feminine and masculine, thereby adding intimidation to the power and superiority that was already in her voice. Pein was not happy about this."So you're the one who controls these intruders? YOU SHOULD KNOW I WILL GLADLY KILL-"he was cut off because Leader came at him with inhuman speed and smashed him into the wall."I will ask you again", she said,"Where. Is. My. Jacket?"Willow took the hoodie from Kakazu's tight grip and slowly walked to our friend."Don't worry, Leader", she started,"There's no need to get violent. Here's your hoodie. Safe and sound in my hands. Which means we can leave peacefully, right?"Leader thought for a moment while holding Pein's throat and shrugged."Why the hell not?"

She let go of her nearly victim, slipped into her hoodie and was about to head for the exit when Hidan's blade stopped her. It was Kakazu."Sorry but you won't be leaving that easily." Leaders jacket magically turned to shreds. She just sighed,"Well. There's nothing we can do about that. Now is there?" I patted her on the shoulder and said,"There, there. We'll get you a new one, Tobie." Yep. That's Leader's name. Tobie.

A certain Akatsuki member with an orange mask popped his head out from the broken ceiling and said,"New person's name is Tobie?"Our Tobie blinked,"Well my real name is Tabitha, but I hate it so I go by Tobie with an"e"." Remember:Tobi-Akatsuki member. Tobie-Our Leader.

Tobi blinked and said,"Yay! Tobi senpai and Tobie will have so much fun!"However due to the glares we got from the other criminals told us otherwise.

**Me:Everyone. Meet Candy, Lucy, Misty, Willow, Raven and Tobie!**

**Candy:H-Hello**

**Willow:What's up?**

**Misty:The opposite of down**

**Lucy:Hello heathens**

**Raven:Hiya!**

**Tobie:*rolls eyes*You were _so _creative with my name, Sydney**

**Me:I thought it would be funny and ironic since*whispers*Madara is the leader of the Akatsuki and he goes by Tobi**

**Everyone:Huh?**

**Me&Tobie:Nothing! Please read and review and tune in next time for, "Look out, Akatsuki! We're coming for ya!" Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:A whole lot of shock

**Me:Hey everyone. I just wanted to say my thanks. It's only been two days since being published and chapter 1 already has more than 80 views. I want to especially say thanks to OPFan37 for reviewing my other story and my friend's stories. You are a great person and an even better fellow emo hater. No offense to anyone. But I would _love_ it if you people reviewed "We're in Shippuden, my friends!"so that I can be motivated enough to continue that story. Seeing OPFan37 reviews just aren't enough for the full boost. They're wonderful, but seeing more of them would be great! That is all. If it came out mean, I apologize. My social skills kinda suck. On with the fan fic!**

(Tobie's POV)

Honestly, I have no idea what's happening. One minute I'm asleep in the rundown flat I've had for years, the next, I'm sleeping right next to Tobi of the Akatsuki.

Don't tell him, but the reason my nickname is Tobie is because I'm one of his fan girls. He's so funny and childish, you can't help but love him, even though he annoys the crap out of me at the same time. He's the bad guy equivalent of Naruto. I sat in a room my rampage didn't destroy. I assumed it was were Kakazu counted money and did the Akatsuki taxes since there was a simple desk like table with bills and a table lamp on it.

He, Pein and Konan were sitting across from me. The ginger with countless piercings was rubbing his neck, that I tried to crush. Kakazu was crunching numbers. Probably to see how big of a dent the damage has put in their budget. I would know since I'm a landlord. And Konan…her eyes darted from my insanely large chest to her normal one over and over again.

My friends were tied up and held down by the other Akatsuki members to my left. Tobi kept on poking his head into the room, then took it out whenever I turned around."What's his problem?" I asked. I was ignored. Until Kakazu screamed,"Do you have any idea what kind of consequence is given by messing with the Akatsuki?!" I responded innocently,"Death…?""No. We're not going to kill you", Pein sighed."Oh, phew. Wait, wha…?" Kakazu, Konan and I said at the same time. Pein looked me in the eye and said,"You heard me. We're. Not. Going. To. Kill. You." By now, everyone in the base heard this and their jaws dropped."How come?"

"You all have a debt to pay off. Thereby if we kill or torture you, you won't be able to pay it off. So… we're making you*sigh, mutters*Can't believe I'm going to say this. We're making you join the Akatsuki." He waited for his words to sink in. Once they did, everyone said,"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" I was dumbfounded. I would never expect this from Pein. Maybe he was that desperate for money.

I broke out of my stupor and held out my hand to him and said,"We're in if you are." He looked at it for a second. Everyone in the Akatsuki was mouthing and making hand gestures for,"No. No. No. Please don't do it. Please don't do it. Please don't do it.""Fine", was all he said before he shook my hand."Welcome to the Akatsuki." By now, everyone was screaming,"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kakazu and Kisame were banging their heads against the wall. Hidan was praying that this was just a bad dream. Sasori said something about jumping off the roof. Deidara was on the floor shouting,"Why, un?!" The rest of them was just gaping at us. My friends were in the middle of it all, grinning.

The sight was so funny, I couldn't help but laugh. Think of the most insane, sadistic and evil kind of laughter you've ever heard. That's my laughter. Everyone stopped what they were doing in hopes of calming me down."Alright, Tobie", said Misty,"It is really funny, but please stop laughing. You're scaring everyone." I wiped a tear away and assured them I was done.

I walked out of the room just to bump into the other Tobi. I stood there for a minute then backed away and said,"I'm sorry. I didn't see you." He just stood there. Not responding."Tobi. Is everything okay?"asked Kisame. Tobi blinked, before he glomped me."Yay! New Tobie and even newer friends are staying. Now Tobi will not only be a good boy, but Tobi will be a happy boy!" I was a bit embarrassed by the fact he was hugging me and I even slightly blushed, but then thought what the hell? So I hugged him back.

(An hour later)

Konan gave us each Akatsuki cloaks. Apparently, she was no longer upset."Wow. Thanks, Konan", said Willow. Konan nodded,"I trust Pein's decision. Please don't let me be wrong.""We won't", we all said."However, is there any objection to us altering our cloaks?" I asked. She looked at us for a minute and shrugged before she left. Using our excellent*Kiba and Neji theme song from Naruto abridged*sewing skills, we changed our cloaks to our liking.

Raven removed the buttons and sewed the fabric together. She cut off the big ass collar so you can sorta see her collar bones, then cut the bottom so that it would end on her waist. The sleeves were left untouched so they covered her hands. In the end, she made a cute sweater.

Willow turned hers around to have the buttons in the back. She cut out a chunk of fabric on each sleeve so you can see her shoulders. She too cut off the collar.

Misty cutout the sleeves until they covered half her bicep and collar and stitched it to be tight on her body so it was a tight dress similar to Sakura's shirt in the first series.

Candy hardly did anything. All she did was make the sleeves tight on her arms and trimmed them so you can see her hands.

Lucy can't sew, so she just cut off the sleeves and unbuttoned the collar.

I made the biggest change to mine. I cut the cloak so it would just cover my ass. I then cut the sleeves to let only my fingers show and made thumb holes. I also cut off the collar. What was left of the scraps was used to make a baggy hood and pockets. In the end, I made it into a black with red clouds replacement of the hoodie that was cut to ribbons by Bastard McStitches(Kakazu). We. Looked. Great.

When we were called for a meeting, we came in with our Akatsuki uniforms and everyone but Konan stared at us like 0_0."What. The hell. Did. You do?" Pein asked us. I shrugged,"We were bored and I needed a new jacket. I don't see what the big deal is."

"The big deal is no one will take you seriously."

"Coming from the man who wears a dress for a uniform."

He was silent for a minute, and I couldn't see his eyes. Finally, he took in some deep breaths and muttered,"Remember what your therapist said, Pein. Ok then, due to the new"members", and the fact that some of the rooms were crushed into nothingness," I whooped at that,"we will have to share rooms with them." Everyone, including my roommates got up and shouted things like,"Oh, come on!""Seriously?!""I'd rather be brutally murdered by Leader-Chan than have to go through that kind of crap!" Meanwhile Tobi was being…Tobi and was just off in his little world.

I know that Tobi is really Madara. My roommates don't know it because they spend so much time re-watching episodes with their favorite Akatsuki members, they haven't seen the episode that is the big reveal.'I really should ask Madara how he did it for this long', I thought.

I was starting to get annoyed so I punched the wall to get their attention. It worked, Kakazu fainted and I said,"Thank you. Now I know that everyone is extremely pissed, but Pein is right. I destroyed too many rooms for any of us to have a room to themselves. Even I hate this idea, but as I learned from my awful childhood, you have to adjust to anything. If I could do that as a child, then I'm pretty sure you guys and my adult self can do so as well. Am I correct?"

The girls nodded while the Akatsuki stared at me in shock."So that's why you're the leader of them", said Konan."Yep! And I have an idea about how to select the rooms and their tenants", I said when a drawing board came out of nowhere with the map of the base on it."Now, there are eight rooms and sixteen people. Which means there will be two people per room. How to determine the roommates of each room is simple." Two bowls with eight strips of paper in each appeared."In both bowls is pieces of paper that are numbered 1-8 in each bowl. My friends and I will choose a paper from one bowl while you guys picks one from the opposite bowl. Whoever picks that number will have to stay in that room with the other person who picks that number as well. Tobi, could you be a good boy and demonstrate?"

Tobi looked up and skipped over to me."Okay, other Tobie. Tobi is a good boy, so Tobi will do what other Tobie wants Tobi to do." My eye was doing _a lot _of twitching since I can't _stand _it whenever someone speaks in 3rd person term _and _he wasn't listening to me. I mutter,"Remember what your therapist said, Tobie. I need you to pick a peice of paper from this bowl and tell me what number is on it.""Okey doke!" Tobi dug his hand in the bowl for a while until he found a paper that said 6."Okay, you picked six, which means you and another person will be staying in room six." I pointed to the chart while explaining it to him. Tobi cheered."Now I will pick a number from the other bowl." I reached my hand into the other bowl."Now, whenever you pick a number, you can't take it back, because once you do, that number will be the number to your room and roommate. No redo or re-draw, got it?" Everyone nodded."Good." I finally grabbed a paper."Now my room will be-"I stopped in mid sentence and wanted to die. The number I chose…was 6.

Willow took my paper to show to everyone. Tobi was so happy. I went to a corner to sulk and mutter,"Me and my damn mouth."

(Lucy's POV)

'Poor, heathen', I thought while I lay witness to Leader's sulking. Not even Jashin would blame her. I mean look at her roommate.

Next to pick a number was Candy. She approached the bowl as if it might run away. Then finally picked a number."What did you get?" I asked. She showed us the number 4. I decided to go next. I picked number 2. The next person to come up was Hidan. Who was cursing. A lot. He also picked number 2. I didn't mind. After all, he was the only one who saw the truth. That Jashin was the only God!0_0…

The next person who came for their room was one of the Uchiha bastards Tobie and I completely loathed. He picked a number, and was completely emotionless. He showed us his room number with a blank expression. It was 4. Candy saw this and went to sulk with Leader muttering,"You and your damn mouth."

Deidara picked 7. So did Raven. Seeing that, Deidara also went to the corner to mutter,"You and your damn mouth, un." Suddenly, but was expected by those who know her, Raven glomped the blonde boy. Or man. I think he's nineteen. Which would be great for Raven since she's eighteen."WHAT THE F***, UN?!"he asked the young girl.

Tobie broke out of her sulking and explained,"Whenever Raven meets a new person, she is…rather curious about how they're physically built, so she hugs them to see what they're like, and considering how long she's been holding you, she likes what she feels." Tobie ended with her famous perverted/sadistic smile. I and the other young female adults gagged at what she was thinking. Damn perverted child."Likes what she feels?"What do you mean, un?"Deidara asked worried. Raven rubbed her face into his neck. The Akatsuki's face got pink as he tried to pry the girl off him.

While that was done, Sasori and Willow picked 5. No reaction except Willow blushed, but it was unnoticeable. Next were Misty and Kisame with number 3. Kakazu and Zetsu were stuck together thanks to the number 8. That left Pein and Konan to be in room 1. We all grabbed a copy of the map since this base is too damn big for any MoFo heathen to remember and we all went our separate ways.

(In my room)

The room Hidan and I were staying in had a big ass freezer, two beds and plenty of prayer space."So…"I said awkwardly,"You believe in the one and only great Jashin, too?""F*** yeah!" He responded.

"Good. Otherwise I would have to kill you."

"Why the F*** would you do that?"

"Well, the only way I tolerated living with those heathens was that they were sleeping in separate rooms than I was. That and Tobie would murder me after she uses tweezers to pull out my nails."

"Why's that so bad? It sounds fun."

"Not if you're NOT a masochist, but a sadist instead."

"Well I'm both!"

"Oh…cool. I…guess."

Yep. I was having a fun time with my new roomie.

(Misty's POV)

Kisame and I found our room. It was a good sized room with two beds. I didn't like the idea of sleeping in the same room as a male, but if what Tobie said was true, then I would have to adapt. After all, if Tobie made it through her suffering, then this won't be a problem. I'm the cool one for God damn sakes!'Hang on, Candy', I thought while falling onto my new bed in my new room before I drifted off to sleep.

(Candy's POV)

The room Itachi and I were staying in had two beds, thankfully. Thinking of having to share a room was embarrassing enough!"S-So, here w-we are", I said."Hn."was his only response."Well, y-you can pick out whichever b-bed you want. It doesn't matter to me."

"Hn."

"So, you a fan of anything in particular?"

"Hn."

"Please say and do anything other than"Hn."I was a little annoyed. The raven haired man saw my face and smirked. My face got red and I turned away so as to not face him, but he grabbed my chin with his index finger and thumb and turned my face towards his. His onyx eyes flickered with amusement and he whispered,"I could've done so in the first place. All you had to do was ask, Candy." I had a face as red as a tomato. Before I knew it, I screamed and punched Itachi so hard, he fell unconscious.'Oh, I hope he won't be mad when he wakes up.'

(Willow's POV)

We were two gingers walking down the hallway, until we found our room. Sasori sighed,"I'll just move my puppets in here tomorrow."

Are you upset 'coz you're human?" I asked him.

"That and I'm staying in the same room as you, brat."

"The hell? I don't bitch and moan about staying with an emotionless prick like you!"

Things got quiet."So…I'm just, gonna go to bed now."

"You do that." With that, I went over to one of the beds and fell asleep.

(Raven's POV)

I decided to not glomp Deidara anymore. He's my new roommate and I want to be on good terms with him so that he can fall in love with me! You never heard that. We found the two bed bedroom."Thank God we don't have to share, un", Deidara muttered. I nodded and hopped onto one of the beds as my way of claiming it."Can I ask you something Deidara senpai?" I said while sitting up.

"Senpai, hm?"

"*nod* I have to call everyone that since I'm younger _and _shorter than everyone." I turned to stare at the floor. It's true. I'm a kid compared to the others. I suddenly felt a hand on my head and looked up to see Deidara."Age and height aren't aren't what makes you a person, un", he said softly. That was when I glomped him. He screamed and screamed for me to let go, but I didn't.

(Tobie's POV)

"You're KIDDING me!" The room Tobi and I were staying in had a bathroom in it, a lovely view of the mountains and ONE F***ING BED! On it was a note that said,"Sorry. We couldn't afford a second bed. Have a nice day. -Kakazu" I crumpled that paper into nothingness and sighed."Tobi and Other Tobie will have to share a bed?"the orange masked Akatsuki member asked me. I nodded while gritting my teeth."We'll have to make due."

"Okay, other Tobie." My eye twitched again and I suggested,"Since you speak in third person term, how about you be the one to call me Tabitha?" Tobi did a double take."I get to call you Tabitha?""yep!"

3…2…1

"Yaaaaaaay! Thank you for this privelidge other Tobie! Oh! I mean, Tabitha." I laughed and went to the bed. There was a body pillow, so I took it and placed it in the center of the bed."Why is Tabitha doing that?"he asked me. I responded,"So that we could have some space between us. Also, I sometimes grab things in my sleep. So I don't want to bother you when you're sleeping.""Oh…good idea. You're so smart!"

We both hopped onto opposite sides of the bed. Tobi made himself comfortable while I kept my distance from the body pillow."Good night, Tobi." I was about to kiss the part of his mask where the forehead was, but stopped. It not my fault! Force of habit!"Is Tabitha okay? Her face is red." I felt my face. It was hot."Oh well. Uh, it is a little hot. But don't worry. I'll just take my jacket off."

I did that and faced his mask."What?"I asked."Tabitha is a funny girl. That's all. Good night."'Okay then', was the last thing I thought before I fell asleep after a long day.

(Madara's POV)

'This girl is strange', I thought while staring at the girl sleeping right next to me. She made me curious. She was the leader of those other strange girls. I wondered why they all listened to her, who she was, what she was doing here and what she was in general. Just by looking at her, you would think she was normal. Blonde hair, grey eyes and a normal tan. However, you can never underestimate your enemy. No matter how innocent they look. In truth, I was a tad bit shocked that a child like her got into my room. What was even more shocking was that I looked and felt like a twenty-three year old that morning.

'No', I concluded.' This girl isn't strange. She is…interesting.' What was her name?

Tabitha…better remember that. Even though I don't know why.

**Me:*sniff*I feel like killing myself.**

**Tobie:You should.**

**Taylor:TOBIE! Now why would you want to do that, Sydney?**

**Me:Because I made too many characters OC'd! I didn't even make Deidara and Sasori talk about art. ART!**

**Taylor:Plenty of people have done that and gotten great reviews.**

**Me:You mean it?**

**Taylor:Uh, duh. Also, you forgot tje disclaimer. Flipping hypocrite.**

**Me:*rubs back of head*Sorry. I don't own Naruto. I assume you already knew that so this is the only time I'll say it. Please read and review and tune in next time for "Look out, Akatsuki! We're coming for ya!" Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:A whole lot of violence

**Me:Chapter 3. Here. We. Go.(Totally quoting the joker from the dark knight). Oh, also, those of you who _don't _support the "Obito is Tobi" theory, you should 'CAUSE IT'S REAL!**

**Taylor:WHAT?!**

**Tobie:You bitch. How could you spoil something like that!**

**Me:I'm really really REALLY sorry if I spoiled that for anyone. But to be fair, YouTube spoiled it for me and I had to say it to make this chapter make sense! Seriously, if you don't believe me, look up Obito/Tobi "tomorrow" on YouTube. There's your proof!**

(Tobie's POV)

I woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night, wander around the base, then would go back to bed. But the sunlight coming from out the window told me,"Get up, bitch. You have people to care for, damn it". With that being said, I got up and quietly exited the room so that Tobi could sleep.

When I arrived to the kitchen, I made my light breakfast with my bittersweet coffee(just how I like my men) and a touch of liquor I found ASAP then raided the fridge to make everyone's breakfast. We had a s*** ton of eggs, bacon, sausage, and unknown meat that I assumed was for Zetsu the cannibal. With my hair tied back and my hands clean, I turned on the stove to make as many omelets as humanly impossible. Before forgetting, I made Lucy's favorite brew and let it get mixed in the coffee maker.

I moved on to the bacon and let the smell float by me towards the other rooms. 5 minutes later, Raven came running in with her tongue hanging outside her mouth."Bacon…"she moaned. I laughed and threw a peice of bacon in the air and the little lollie caught it with her mouth. She sucked it down like it was spaghetti before sitting down to eat.

Next came Misty. Her auburn hair was a _mess. _But she still grinned while shoving scrambled eggs down her throat as though she would never taste it again.

Willow was the third person to come down to eat. She said nothing as usual, but smiled when I made her a plate of sausages.

Lucy came in with a blood soaked bag the size of a person in tow."Lucy", I demanded sharply,"You didn't kill someone, did you?" She scoffed,"Of course not, heathen. I just found this in the cemetery nearby." "There's a cemetery nearby?"Misty asked while gouging down some bacon. Lucy nodded.

That was when my fifth friend, Candy, came downstairs. Her beautiful sun kissed tan became porcelain pale when she saw Lucy."L-Lucy, p-please don't d-drag t-that around the house."

"You're not the boss of me, bitch."

"B-But I'm a v-vegetarian! And it's disgusting to c-carry something d-dead around."

"I don't give a F***! In fact, why don't you go F*** yourself, bitch!"

"STOP CALLING ME A BITCH!" Candy was at her limit and she tackled Lucy to the ground. Like always, this started a chain reaction and Willow, Raven and Misty started to fight over their food.

Wads of hair went flying, insults were shouted and I didn't stand for it."Hey. _Hey. _*takes deep breath*…HEEEEEEEYYY!" I screamed while hell fire surrounded me. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch me go bat S*** on their asses."I am TOO tired to deal with this S*** RIGHT NOW*Eye twitch*! It is _8:00 _in the MOTHER F***ING _morning _and yet, you've all managed to be pissed _THEN! *Threatingly holds knife* _Raven, Willow, Misty, SHARE THE F***ING FOOD FOR GOD'S F***ING SAKE! We have PLENTY to go around!" They did what I said with horrified looks.

"Candy", I said softly to the brunette that was about to have a cardiac arrest,"You've seen a dead body before. I know that this is all sudden, but complaining about a corpse won't solve anything." She looked down in shame and mumbled an apology. Happy, I sent her off to eat eggs and waffles.

I grabbed a cup from the cupboard, filled it with Lucy's coffee and handed it to her."Lucy…" I smacked her upside the head."Put that peice of S*** in your room. It's starting to smell and you're getting blood all over the God damn floor." She walked out muttering,"F***ING heathen bitch. Trying to tell me what to do." That was when I threw a kitchen knife an inch away from her head. She looked back and I gave her my glare I would always give to my victims before I killed them(Remember the common murders Willow was talking about? Yeah, well we caused most of them. Mainly me. Don't judge!) She remembered that look and did what I asked her.

Satisfied with my negotiation skills, I went off to make breakfast for the rest of the Akatsuki…only to bump into Zetsu."Whoops. I'm sorry good sir, but I did not see you", I said politely. He took a step back and asked me cautiously,"Are you still upset at your friends? **Those bitches seemed to be bothering you." **Remember. Normal font:white side of Zetsu. **Bold font:black side of Zetsu. **For a minute, I had no idea what he (or they, I guess) was talking about. **"Schizophrenic?" **he guessed. I shook my head. This only made him even more worried. To be fair, I am a nut job with a disorder that caused countless murders and made me and my friends a gang/crucial enemy to the mafia, technically speaking.

One by one, our "kidnappers" piled in smelling my food. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. That is, until Sasori and Deidara had what I call an "art"uement. Get it?…I shoulda listened to Unity and Taylor when they said you guys sucked at jokes. I couldn't even tell who was who when they were speaking. The only way I was able to figure out which artist was which by their side of the argument.

"Art is eternal, brat."

"No way! Art is fleeting, un!"

"Eternal!"

"Fleeting, un!"

"Eternal!"

"Fleeting, u-"That was when I smashed both their skulls into the floor. No one dared to come near me. For I had a deadly aura surrounding me, as my friends tell me."How about art is _both _and you dumbasses shut the F*** up SO WE CAN ALL HAVE SOME GOD DAMN BREAKFAST IN MOTHER F***ING PEACE!" Yep, that stopped them alright. When everything was in order and everyone was eating, I stepped outside."Where are you going?"Pein asked me suspiciously."I'm going on a walk, so nowhere in particular", I responded before closing the door.

I was walking for a while until I figured I was far from everyone. While searching the base yesterday, I found a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. What my friends didn't know was that whenever I'm completely stressed out, I smoke. Which happens quite a few times if you can believe it. I know it's bad for your health, but this is the only thing that is not only calming me but is legal for me to do. I lit a weed(that's what they were called in 50s and 60s) and breathed in all the nicotine and tar, before exhaling it out with a long sigh. I did this a few more times while looking back at the base disguised as a mountain. Suddenly-

"Tabitha-Chan!" Tobi scared the living crap out of me. Seriously he appeared out of nowhere."T-Tobi? What are you doing here?"I asked with the cigarette hanging out of my mouth. He was flailing his arms around when he responded,"Tobi woke up without Tabitha-Chan which Tobi thought was funny. So Pein-Sama sent Tobi to look for Tabitha-Chan because Tobi is a good boy!" He saw my cigarette and gasped,"Tabitha shouldn't smoke." He tried to grab it from my mouth, but I already did it and used the smoldering stub to burn his hand. When the cigarette came into contact, it went through Tobi's hand, as well as my hand. Completely forgot that he has a jutsu that makes parts of himself disappear… damn it! When I tried to pull my hand out, it was stuck in his own."Tobi…please let me go", I requested. He shook his head."Tabitha should get back home instead of smoking. Tobi is going to bring Tabitha home." He started dragging me and eventually, I gave in and decided to walk with him.

The base was coming into view and we walked in silence. I wondered what went on inside Tobi/Madara's head.'Perhaps he wants to kill me right now', I thought before I suddenly blurted out quickly,"I know you're not who you say you are. I don't know your real identity, but I know you're lying. I promise to keep it to myself. Please don't kill me. Buh-bye!" I started to walk a little bit faster, dragging a dumbfounded Tobi along. Suddenly he stopped and said in a deep voice,"So you figured it out?" I whistled,"I knew you were a different person, but I had no idea you had such a sexy voice." This just merely caused a sweat drop on Madara's head."Please don't call me that." I giggled and said while walking,"I'll keep your secret on four conditions:1)You don't kill or harm me. 2)You don't kill or harm any of my friends. 3)From now on, you only call me Tabitha if you are acting as Tobi. 4)The fact that I'm a chain smoker stays between us and only us. Deal?" "Why can't I just kill you now to silence you?"

"Because my friends will torture you in ways you never imagined."

"Sure."

"No seriously. One time, some guy locked me in a crate. When I came out of it, his face was gone. As was his hands and feet."

Madara thought long and hard. Then he sighed,"Fine. You, Tobie, have a deal."

"Yay! Speaking of, we're here." He was about to enter but I asked,"Who are you anyways?" He turned to me with his Sharingan activated and replied,"I am Madara Uchiha." "Oooh…I have no idea who that is. But don't worry, Madara. Your secret is safe with me!"

I couldn't tell if he was smiling or not(probably not), but he took a deep breath in and ran in yelling,"Tobi found Tabitha, because Tobi is a good boy!" With me in tow screaming,"Wait, deactivate the jutsu! TOBI!"

(Next morning) (Madara's POV)

When I woke up, Tobie/Tabitha was there for a change. She looked so peaceful when sleeping with the body pillow in her clutch. So peaceful, that I could just watch her sleep all day. Completely forgetting that she curses almost as much as Hidan. Having the memory of her leadership rivaling that of Pein and my own be washed away from my mind. Ignoring her wrath that's similar to Deidara's whenever "I" insult him and his art. Hell, for a minute, I forgot she was an intruder.

"She's so…so beautiful." Hearing myself say those words made me almost fall off the bed.'What the hell are you thinking Obito?!' I shouted to my counterpart in my mind.' _You and I both know I'm telling the truth.' _I sighed and rolled so that I was laying on my back. '_Besides. I haven't felt this way since…' _"Yes, I know", I said while seeing one of Obito' s many memories.

(Flashback)

_Obito was in his room when he decided to practice kissing Rin. He sat at his desk that had a bulletin board with pictures of Rin and his other teammates. Mostly Rin._

_In his hands was a copy of the first picture him and his squad took together. Sensei had his eyes closed when he was smiling, so you couldn't see the brilliant blue they were. But you could definitely see his hair that was so yellow, the sun would be jealous. On his left was _Kakashi, _looking into the camera, pissed as per usual. The handsome devil that owned that room was on his sensei' s right, looking at the camera through the goggles he always wears(which makes everyone wonder how dust could get in his eyes)with a lollipop stick sticking out of his mouth. Down in the center was, *sigh*, Rin, doing the peace sign with both hands. She had such a dazzling smile, and her rich chocolate colored hair and purple markings on her face merely highlighted her beauty. If only her dark green eyes were open. Then the young Uchiha could've spent the rest of his life looking at that smile._

_When he saw her face, Obito blushed and smiled. He was about to kiss Picture Rin, but stopped when he saw Kakashi in the picture as well. A wave of awkwardness hit him, so he used tape to cover up the silver haired teen's face. Once he did that, Obito started to kiss the Rin in the photo. Halfway through, he saw Kakashi' s _real _face(Well, what wasn't covered by his mask)outside his window. The teen looked just like he did in his picture. By now, Obito wanted to crawl into a hole and die from embarrassment._

(End of Flashback)

I placed a hand over my heart and sighed with contempt. But I shook my head.'Keep it together, Obito. You're old enough to be her father and she is the opposite of Rin! Rin was kind, charismatic and well refined. This girl openly admitted to chain smoking, destroyed pieces of this base and clearly corrupt!' _'Well, you're right. She is those three things, but there just seems to be this glow about her, ya know?' _he defended. I rolled my eyes.'Of course I noticed it. I'm you, so what you notice, I notice.' _'Wow. We really are twenty-three again, aren't we?' _'*sigh* I guess we are.' I shook my head again.'Enough of this nonsense. I have to focus on recreating the world so that there is only peace and love in existence. That and Rin is the reason you're helping me.' _'I'm also doing this because of my vow to assist the elderly.' _An angry vein was visible on my head.'I'm now twenty-three, you know?'

This was when Tobie woke up. She let out a cute yawn-DID I SAY CUTE?! Cut that! Edit it out!NOOOOOOOOOOOO! DAMN IT! 0_0… moving on, she yawned and stretched her arms out then her back which made her ermmm…chest…bounce slightly. I had to look away to suppress my perverted motives. Good thing I had a mask. Using an "Uchiha mask" is not very helpful to cover my emotions for some reason. Well, it covers _my _emotions perfectly. It is not the same case for Obito, however, because he was sweeter than the rest. But since I am an Uchiha, I must show very little emotion. She looked at me with her barely opened grey, almost silver, eyes and smiled."Morning sexy", she said with a yawn. I had another sweat drop on my head."I thought I asked you not to call me that", I said. She pouted and declared,"Well, you have an extremely hot and deep voice that can only be described as sexy. So when no one is around, you're nickname is sexy!"

Honestly, I didn't mind my nickname that much. You should all know how good it feels to be sexy, so yeah. However, I would never let her know that!"Whatever", I responded. She nodded and pulled the covers off herself. She looked down and muttered,"Aww, crap. Wait a damn minute!" She started to mumble to herself and counted off her fingers. When she got to five she looked up with shock and fear in her eyes."Sweet mother of God and all things holy." I had no idea what could make her this scared. But she all of a sudden grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room.

After getting lost a few times, the two of us found ourselves in the living room with everyone but Tobie's friends in it. Konan looked up from her newspaper to see Tobie panting heavily."Are you okay?"she asked. Tobie answered,"Are my friends up yet?!" Everyone shook their heads."Okay good." She sighed with relief and pushed her light blonde hair out of her eyes and proceeded to walk over to Konan and whispered something in her ear. When she moved back, Konan responded,"Nope. Sorry." This sent Tobie into a panic attack. She ran around the base saying,"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh G-" "JASHIN!" Hidan corrected. "Whatever! Whoever is our God won't be able to help us if we're in Hell!" "What are talking about?"I asked her.

She set down a handful of board wood and a hammer. 'Wait! Where the hell did she-never mind.' Anyway, she answered,"Well, Tobi, something that occurs once a month is happening to all six of us and whenever this endeavor happens to my friends, all of hell falls to pieces and I'm always caught in their path of fury and destruction." All the males in the room shifted uncomfortably since they knew what she meant. I only did it mentally because I needed to pretend to be an idiot. "Wait. If your friends are bad whenever…that…happens, how come you're not like that?" Pein asked. Tobie shrugged,"For some reason, the pain just makes me rather mellow."

That was when we heard something break upstairs and Tobie went crazy again. She grabbed everyone in the room, placed them in a room and boarded it up with wood and hammer I mentioned earlier. "What the hell, woman?" Kisame shouted. "Trust me when I tell you that this is for your own good!" She shouted back. The only ones she didn't lock up was me and Hidan. She turned to the albino and asked,"Do you die easily?" "Ugh, I wish", Kakazu mumbled in the other room. "I heard that, you F***ING heathen!" Hidan shouted. "Okay, good. You hold them off while Tobi and I buy some chocolate and "supplies". That sound good? Okay then, come on." Tobie was about to leave, but stopped when the other girls came crashing in. Literally!

Each of them had a look of murder in their eyes. I counted four heads and just assumed one of them was still asleep. "Oh hey…guys. I was just…going to get you some chocolate. Gotta go!" Tobie was about to leave but stopped when Candy stood in her way with a glass in her hands. "There's…no more…chocolate?"the brunette whispered. Something told me to keep my mouth shut. Most likely, it was Tobie's look of paralyzed fear. Hidan, however, didn't get the message. "Obviously not, bitch", he snorted. In the blink of an eye, Candy smashed the end of the glass and used it to try and stab us. "Woah. Settle down, tiger. I promise if you let me live, I will buy you some chocolate and"supplies". Please", Tobie begged while backing away to the door. I slowly joined her because that negative energy was being reflected onto me. "What happened to the chocolate?" Raven and Misty asked at the same time. We all stood silent, until Hidan shouted,"I ate all of it!" Their attention turned to the Jashinist. Tobie mouthed,"What the _hell _are you doing? They're going to kill you." He mouthed,"Run. Now!" Wasting no time, Tobie grabbed my hand and ran out the base at superhuman speed. I was a little uncomfortable with how tight she cupped my hand. The blonde didn't notice however because she ran into town, not looking back."I sure as hell hope your friend will still be in one piece after this!" She said."Naw, he'll be fine", I said, more or less to assure myself rather than her. 'He'll be fine', I said one last time to myself. I was really hoping I was right. You can't imagine how much paperwork I would need to do if I was wrong.

(Hidan's POV)

'Damn it. These bitches are harder to get rid of than I thought!'was running through my head while I ran for my life. I came to a curve in the hallway right before a crap ton of knives showered and hit the wall next to me.

I don't bother to remember their names, so I gave them names:The scary ass heathen bitch, squealing F***ER, girl Sasori, quiet F***ER, green eyed nut and Lucy, the hot one who knows of Jashin. I'll admit I'm attracted to the other Jashinist in this Jashin for saken place, but nothing more than that.

I suddenly felt somebody grab my head and the next thing I knew, they were using it to create a hole in the wall. It hurt like hell, I tell ya! I grabbed my scythe and used it to try and slice the bitch in half, but they just dodged and backed away. It was the one I call girl Sasori, with the red hair and bored eyes. Except she didn't look _bored _so much as ready to kill me. I got into a fighting stance and reached for my scythe, only to find someone took it. The whore used this opportunity to sock me in the jaw. I flew back into the wall, and the other nut jobs grabbed my arms and legs and held me down. With some struggle, I got them off me and when I turned around, Lucy came at me with _my _scythe in _her _hands. With no other option, I continuously dodged as she maneuvered the three bladed scythe perfectly. Slice. Dodge. Slice. Dodge. It was the same damn thing over and over again.

Eventually, I was somehow able to lose them, or so I thought before Lucy dragged me into the bathroom and smashed my face into the mirror. The others stood in the doorway, pissed that it wasn't them. Lucy finally stopped and that's when her hair fell out of its ponytail and I saw her sexily flip her white hair outta her face. Her long hair on her shoulders, that evil twinkle in the eyes, the sadistic smirk on her lips, complete with my scythe in her iron grip. Truly beautiful. "Where the hell have you been all my life?" I breathed. "Wait. What?"said a Tobie when she entered with bags, being carried bridal style by the pain in the F***ING ass, Tobi. The girls turned their attention to the bags and raided them, kicking and the two Tobi's out. We all just stood out there for a minute before we remembered that Tobie locked everyone else in the basement.

Once we took care of that, we all decided to forget this endeavor and go on with our day. Tobi dropped Tobie and Tobie kissed the pain in the ass on the cheek and shouted,Thanks for the lift!" Before she went to check on her friends. He just stood there, rubbing his mask."What the F*** is with you?" I asked him. He merely mumbled,"I'll be in my room", and left. I shrugged it off and thought back to the Lucy I saw today. That's when I decided that she was an angel. An angel sent by Jashin for me.'I better thank Jashin the next time I pray to him', was my last thought before going on with my day.

**Me:Thank God!**

**Lucy&Hidan:JASHIN!**

**Me:Screw you! Anyway, I just wanted to end this chapter by saying happy 4th of July.**

**Tobie:It's July 5th.**

**Me:I know. Which is why I'm saying it now. Mostly because I'm American. Anyway, please read and review and tune in next time.**

**Everyone:One Peice out!**

**Me:Bye!**


End file.
